As children we are all taught the same things. Be nice, share, forgive, console, say only nice things. All those things work well throughout childhood. My problem with that is that basically upon entering the adult years those values, if not coupled with equally reinforced limits, leads to a life of being used as a doormat.
Recently I endured a very difficult break-up. I was forced to end a relationship with someone I truly loved because long story short, shes an idiot. The girl has no perception of right and wrong, all she understands is her way. I am talking about the type of person who swears the world revolves around them. Even when they do something hurtful they find a way to make it about themselves. Just truly terrible people.
So how does this all tie together? Well here it is, people like me who were never taught how to stick up for themselves, not put up with garbage like that, or not be afraid to fight a fair fight due to fear of upsetting the other person are enabling these people. People like me are the reason that people like them exist, because they will always be able to find a sucker to leech off of that justifies their actions and sticks up for them.
Parents, being under my parents roof wasn't that long ago for me, and if there was one thing I wish I had been taught before I came to college, it would be to look out for people like that. Teach your children early when it's acceptable to stick up for themselves, and how to hold their ground. Of course there are moments where being nice and doing the right thing are necessary, but it is just as important for your kids to know when the opposite is true as well.
The sooner the nice person learns to shut these reality defective and morally inept people down, the sooner nice people will start finishing first.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
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